"When will you be on the Today show?"
And other questions we received about publishing a book.
I am sitting at my kitchen table. It’s Sunday, at six in the morning. Well, it’s actually seven, but we will call it six for the foreseeable future. I’ve been up since four-thirty, because not only do I not know what time it is, but I don’t know what day, week, year, or reality this is. We’ve lived many lives in the week since Money Together came out.
Publishing a book is not much different than bringing a baby into the world: those first weeks are a blur of emotion, exhaustion, and a confusing mix of feeling exactly where you want to be and what the hell are we doing?
I don’t want to reflect much more than we already have. You’ve read enough of that from us. But lots of you have questions about publishing a book, so we thought we’d share a little more about that today.
As you’d expect, we’ve received our fair share of the following:
How many books have you sold? Are you going to be a best seller? Where are you going on tour? When will you be on the Today show?
I understand it—people mean well and are curious. However, this is far from what actually happens. Unless you’re one of the chosen few who are thrust into a world tour and six-figure publicity campaign, you’ve got to figure most of this out yourself. I don’t just mean publicity, but the answer to a bigger question:
What do we want out of this?
For me, the most obvious part is that I love writing. I love writing so much that when I am not writing, I am thinking about what I will write next. Pursuing this project was a blend of everything I ever wanted: telling people’s stories, working through my own, forming opinions, and hopefully if I am lucky, helping readers feel seen and make meaningful change in their lives. But I think a lot of authors feel this way. We get lost in our own sauce. We are vulnerable, emotional, and protective of our work. When you love something, or love someone, it’s easy for big feelings to cause your expectations to run wild.
But there’s the business part, too.
Douglas and I know that this book launch should feel more like a small business than a movie premiere. There are layers to our efforts: relationships to deepen, platforms to enrich (like this one), messages to get out in the world, and real feedback from couples that will benefit our core business at Bone Fide Wealth. In other words, there are many ways for us to win, some of which directly involve book sales and others that don’t.
As our designated Kris Jenner, I’ve used these objectives to guide us through many “Is this really worth it?” conversations. We’ve held on tight to our budget, and seen through a whole lot of AI slop. No matter who we pay, which podcasts we land, or who posts a photo of our book in their stories, we’ve been reminded that we are our best marketers, publicists, and advocates. Expecting too much from anyone is a trap. Though I am sure that some of the firms and consultants we interviewed could have saved us time, no one will care about our book (or project, or business) as much as we do. That’s true for any of us.
Admittedly, we did get some things wrong. I wish we had more day-to-day social media support during this time. I also wish we hired a local executive assistant before we got this busy. It’s kind of funny, because everyone tries to sell you the world, but what we really needed was help with some very proximate tasks.
We also got a lot right. We hired a very skilled web designer to build us brand-new firm and book websites from the studs. We found the most unbelievable photographer to shoot our author portraits (which we are using left and right). We shipped books to every client in our practice. We threw parties in New Jersey and New York City to celebrate our accomplishment with friends and colleagues. The expenses associated with these decisions were worth it, either because we’ll keep reaping their dividends or because we deserve to feel great. You can do things because you deserve them, too.
Anyway, we’ll get back to regularly scheduled programming in The Joint Account very soon, but we wanted to illustrate for you the importance of knowing why you’re doing something. Whether we’re talking about a book or a new business venture or even an investment in services that will make your lives easier, these are personal choices for you to make. Don’t let anyone else’s noise dictate how you should or shouldn’t go about it.
So here we are, tired and grateful, at the end of the first full week of the next phase in our journey. We’ve felt your support from every angle, and it means everything.
If you’ve already bought Money Together, thank you. If you haven’t yet, now’s the perfect time. Pick up a copy for yourself, your partner, or that couple in your life who could use a little financial TLC. You can find it wherever books are sold, or through this link. And never hesitate to email us with your thoughts!
What a week!
We had the greatest time celebrating Money Together with friends, family, contributors, clients, and colleagues. A very special thank you to Terrace Plant Shop for hosting our New Jersey event, and to our partners at Altruist for their support of our New York City event.
The life of a showgirl (and boy)
We’ve really been on the circuit this past week, and we want to share all of it with you without your eyes glazing over. Sorry, we’ll try our best:
We spoke with CNN about how to survive tense money moments with your spouse, and with Stylist about 5 money habits that work against your relationship (and how to fix them).
I am still crying over these kind words about Money Together in The Skimm's Money newsletter this week.
On Substack, we were thrilled to join Dana Miranda for a Q&A in her fabulous newsletter, Healthy Rich. We also joined Brian Page, M.Ed., AFC® for a 2-for-1 podcast / newsletter. Last but not least, we were honored write this guest post for Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT’s The Balancing Act about the difference between “fair” and “even” in money, time, and much more. Thanks, Liz!
If listening’s more your thing, fear not! We’ve got plenty of that to share, too.
Things got spooky on Stacking Benjamins as we tackled our most awkward money monsters together with host Joe Saul-Sehy. We joined Doug’s buds Michael Batnick and Ben Carlson on the Animal Spirits podcast to talk about the money conversations you should be having but probably aren’t. We also joined Morningstar’s The Long View to share our thoughts on managing money with the person you love, and spent some incredibly thoughtful time with industry great Jill Schlesinger on her show, Money Watch.
I also had two intimate, meaningful conversations without Doug (sorry, babe): on Money Unplugged with the great Chris Hill, and Corporate F*ckery with my new friend Lauren Degolia, who is such a freaking ally she convinced her local independent bookstore to carry copies of Money Together.
Money Together is here <3
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The content shared in The Joint Account does not constitute financial, legal, or any other professional advice. Readers should consult with their respective professionals for specific advice tailored to their situation. The information contained in this post is general in nature and for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as investment advice or as a recommendation of any particular strategy or investment product. This post is not a solicitation or an offer to buy or sell any specific security. Bone Fide Wealth cannot guarantee the accuracy of information from third parties.
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