Q&A: Don't I need to know more about my husband's business?
A new reader question on The Joint Account.
QUESTION: My husband owns his own business, and I sometimes feel left in the dark. On one hand, it’s not like I’m unfamiliar with what he does for a living, and I don’t want to overstep any boundaries he might be trying to keep between his family and work. But how the business is doing has a direct impact on our livelihood. I think I deserve to know more. How do we get there without him feeling like I’m prying?
ANSWER:
Okay, this question hits home for us. It’s one thing to support your spouse’s dream of building a business, but it’s another to be in the dark about what that dream means for your family’s finances. We’re of the mindset that every business is a family business, whether you want it to be or not.
In Money Together, we talk a lot about teamwork. Handling money with another person is all about trust, communication, and shared goals. It’s true that entrepreneurship can be a super lonely and isolating experience, and in turn, there can be some compulsion to stress dump on your partner, because you don’t have anyone else to turn to. The other extreme of that would be not involving you enough in a risk-on endeavor that clearly impacts you, too.
There’s many reasons households end up not talking enough about the family business, and they’re not all deliberate. Maybe he’s just fully consumed or overwhelmed by the pressure of making it work. He could also believe he’s doing the right thing by shielding you from the day-to-day stuff. And as you alluded to, there’s reasons why you might feel apprehensive to initiate a more direct line of questioning than just, “How’s it going?” For some couples, it’s hard to start speaking the same language when one of you lives, eats, and breathes a business they built. But no matter what, you need to know enough about the business to understand its implication in your lives.
Let us offer you a good place to start. If he won’t share this information with you, that’s a whole other story.
Know the rhythm of the business. Every business has a cadence. There are slow months and go months. Maybe Q4 is when the biggest contracts close, or tax season brings on a crunch. Maybe later in the year, there’s going to be a big product launch. Knowing your spouse’s busy season isn’t just about being empathetic when they’re in overdrive mode. It’s about preparing for the impact that busy season brings onto your entire household. There are things you can do to support him and support yourself through it when you recognize these periods of intensity. For one, you can adjust spending to invest in extra help at home when he’s around less. You can also carve out time for you to rest and reconnect afterward. Your insight into the rhythms of the business allows you react less and plan your lives better around what has to get done.
Know how the business makes money. This might sound obvious, but you should understand how your husband’s business generates revenue. Is it client-based? Subscription-based? Product-driven? Is there recurring income, or is it feast-or-famine, eat what you kill?
Understanding the business model is so important for you to feel grounded in financial reality. It shifts your mindset from “my partner’s off doing mysterious things that may or may not result in income,” to “I get what’s happening and how it connects to our personal finances.” You don’t need to treat this like a crash course in startup finance. You just want to have a basic understanding of things, so you’re not guessing how money comes into your lives.
Know about the debt. Business debt has a funny way of creeping into the personal realm, especially when cash flow is tight or credit is personally guaranteed. That SBA loan, the line of credit, the credit card used to float expenses? Yeah, it’s all real, and it 100% affects your finances as a couple.
If the business struggles, that debt doesn’t necessarily stay behind some LLC firewall. It can show up in your household cash flow, impact your credit, delay other financial goals like buying a home, saving for college, or taking that annual vacation. That’s why it’s critical for both partners to be aware of what debts exist, how they’re being managed, and what the risks are if the business hits turbulence. Transparency is the antidote to surprise, and financial surprise is one of the easiest ways to erode your trust.
Know who else is at the table. If your partner has co-founders, equity partners, or investors, you should at least know who they are. Who makes decisions when your spouse isn’t around? Are there obligations to others that affect your financial security? Is there someone else influencing major business choices? I’m not saying you need to go to board meetings or read the operating agreement. But you should have a clear sense of the people your family’s lives are tethered to. Business partnerships can be just as intimate as personal ones. You deserve to know what these connections mean.
Know what happens if he dies. This is the part no one wants to talk about. But if your spouse owns a business and something happens to them, things can get very complicated, very fast. Would you inherit the business outright? Would their share pass to someone else? Are there buy-sell agreements in place? Would you suddenly be responsible for debts or decisions you’re not equipped to handle? Having answers to these questions is part of protecting the life you’ve built together. There’s nothing morbid about it.
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Even if he’s the one dedicating his life to this business, you’re still impacted by it, and you have a right to know this stuff. So, sit down. Ask to see the calendar. Go over the basics of the business. Make sure both of you understand what’s in motion, not just when times are good, but also when they’re tough. You don’t have to be their business partner, but you should at least know what kind of business their running. Nothing about this is prying—it’s just being a partner.
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The content shared in The Joint Account does not constitute financial, legal, or any other professional advice. Readers should consult with their respective professionals for specific advice tailored to their situation.
With a husband who is a small business owner, this is a real question I have, and I’m so glad your post addressed it! So helpful, thank you!