How to know when you need help

Just because you can DIY your finances doesn’t always mean you should.

[A Couple Minutes] Press play to hear a few minutes about our week, financial news, and the inspiration for this week’s newsletter. Let us know what you think!

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Early in my career, I thought everyone should work with a financial advisor. I was high on my own supply. As I gained experience, I realized this was more of a self-serving belief than anything else. Advisors can provide a lot of value, no doubt, but not everyone needs professional help.

When I meet prospective clients now, my goal is to help them figure out if financial planning is even right for them. A lot of times, people are doing a great job on their own and just need to be pointed in the right direction. I’m not too proud to say that. My oh my, how I’ve grown.

Also, we are living in the golden era of financial technology. There’s a platform to handle almost every facet of your financial life: robo advisors offer low-cost investing options while AI-enabled platforms are helping households with their tax and legal needs. Budgeting tools? Take your pick. There’s never been a better time to take control of your financial life all by yourself.

Still, just because you can DIY doesn’t always mean you should. Technology can give you the tools, but it can’t give you the judgment, time, energy, or discipline to use them consistently. The real value of hiring help shows up in the gaps: when life gets busy, when things get complex, or when you simply want someone to share the weight of the workload. I thought it would be helpful to name for you the circumstances in which people most often bring in a professional and get the most out of their relationship.

You have the skills but no time. You know what to do. You’re financially literate, you read the articles, listen to podcasts, and maybe even follow a few advisors on social media (wink wink). But between work, kids, errands, sleep, and trying to maintain a shred of your personal life, there’s just no room to do “the things.” For example, Heather and I know how to exercise, but we still use a trainer 3 days a week, because we need to maximize our yield. Our trainer helps us accomplish in 45 minutes what would take us two hours in the gym by ourselves.

You’re not giving up control by outsourcing parts of your financial life. What you’re doing is protecting your time and energy. A good professional will help you hit your financial targets faster and more efficiently, so you can spend more time focusing on *waves hands around* everything else.

You have the time but not the discipline. You’ve created the budget, written down your goals, and modeled out your portfolios. You and even put reminders on your calendars to go over everything with your spouse. But despite your efforts, you’re not executing. Your retirement contributions are sitting in cash. Your estate plan is still on your to-do list. That budget you revised last quarter? It slipped away when your wife decided to collect Labubus (jk, hi Heath).

I want to emphasize that failing to get stuff doesn’t isn’t a moral failure. It may not even be a matter of willpower. You just might not have access to the systems and accountability partners you need to turn your good intentions into good decisions and stick with them. A professional can help you with that. They don’t just help you plan—they help you follow through. And often, that’s the missing link between good intentions and real progress.

You and your partner are not on the same page. Maybe one of you is a saver and the other is a spender. Maybe you have different definitions of what “enough” looks like (we observed a lot of this in our interviews for the book). Or perhaps you’re just speaking totally different money languages and don’t even realize it. You’re not doing anything wrong, per se. You’re just out of sync.

When couples hit a communication impasse, a third party can do what you sometimes can’t do for each other: listen neutrally, reframe the issue, help find your common ground, and chart a path forward you both can live with. You and your partner may still not agree—you may never agree! But having divergent viewpoints shouldn’t paralyze you from doing anything.

You’re navigating a major life event. Life transitions tend to be emotional and logistical whirlwinds. This is when mistakes are most likely to happen. Whether you’re inheriting money, navigating equity compensation, having kids, starting/selling a business, or supporting your aging parents, big events often come with big financial consequences.

During times like these, a professional isn’t just a planner, they’re a stabilizer. They help you zoom out, ask the right questions, and avoid the kinds of decisions that can cost you. I’ve helped clients move through all types of scenarios and face numerous outcomes, and that perspective can be worth every penny.

None of the above scenarios are mutually exclusive. In fact, they usually don’t show up one at a time. You might be dealing with a career change and new adding a new member to your family and trying to get aligned with your spouse all in the same six-month stretch. Maybe things felt manageable for years and suddenly they don’t. Or maybe it’s the other way around and you’re in a great spot and can handle things on your own for a while. Remember, your life isn’t static. It evolves around you and your partner, so your need for support will evolve naturally, too.

There’s one more piece that matters in all this: readiness. You must be emotionally ready to accept professional help. That means being willing to hear things you might not want to hear. It means accepting tradeoffs, being open to change, and allowing someone into a very personal part of your life. Not everyone is ready for that, and that’s okay. Change is hard. But when you are ready, the right help can make all the difference in the world.

When did you bring in help? When would you? Let us know.

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One the best part about my job is getting to create educational content with amazing partners in the financial media. It’s never lost of me how fortunate I am to be able to do this kind of work. I hope we get to see this series someday!

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TJA in the News

I chatted with CNBC about what student loan repayment could look like under the Republican’s “big beautiful bill.”

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And don’t forget, our forthcoming book, Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team, arrives in October 2025. You can pre-order your copy now!

Find us on social: @dougboneparth + @averagejoelle :)

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The content shared in The Joint Account does not constitute financial, legal, or any other professional advice. Readers should consult with their respective professionals for specific advice tailored to their situation.