"Nothing is built to experience anymore. Everything is built to consume" - and this is why we do Birthdays at home. Make a home made cake that isn't perfect. etc. I'm not talking about kids, which brings a whole other level of pressure...but I make the bar lower as to what constitutes a good time. It can just be laughs, a fun time out biking, going to a local wolf sanctuary, or a farm rescue place to visit. I refuse the consume-only culture, and am choosing "connection culture." instead. Better on the wallet, but also better in my own heart.
I read the NYT article yesterday about the whole BNPL trap, which mentioned that two-thirds of Coachella tickets are purchased that way. There’s a Forbes article about the trend that says:
“About 60% of general admission ticket buyers for the festival used buy now, pay later (BNPL) plans to secure their passes. Many also leaned on these plans for lodging and merchandise. These costs can run in excess of $1,000 per weekend. This reliance on BNPL, where payments are spread over months, raises questions. This may be a symptom of consumers lacking the cash to fund their desires. Also, it appears that many Americans are maxing out their finances.”
Obvi, but ouch. I hope whatever plan you settle on with your daughter is fabulous and brings you all joy. I was going to suggest an NYC spa day together, but that probably lands you right back at $1,000 once you add in lunch and transportation.
I love music and see a lot of $40 shows at small venues in Toronto. There are also Ticketmaster sales in May for $30 shows. I saw James Taylor, Weird Al and the Who for $30 this year. Not my top picks, but still fun shows (I will also spend on big shows, 100%). You live near NYC and you are surrounded by extreme wealth and you are going to compete with that wealth for limited ticket events. I face the same problem to a lesser extent in Toronto. Ben Carlson talked about seeing so many young people at expensive concerts, but he rationalized this by saying that the minimum wage has gone up significantly since 2020 and kids can now afford a bigger ticket concert as those are their only large expenses as they probably live at home with their parents.
My kids are Swifties and “Weird Al” devotees. They come by it honestly and when either are nearby, it’s not exactly time for a second mortgage, but last time, I was able to make it happen with BNPL.
Nothing like the periodic reminder that I’m still paying for the experiences of the last year, in addition to the travel and associated costs of just getting there and back home.
I saw the title of this post, and immediately sent it to my husband to read.
We just paid $1200 for winter basketball league for our three boys at our local place that the whole town plays at. They raise the prices every two weeks until they are sold out. It’s a racket, but the only activity my kids do during winter. We also spent $1200 on Ed Sheeran concert tickets for our whole family for next summer (as our kids’ first concert a Christmas gift). I specifically told me kids to no birthday parties this year because each tends to run $1000 (even “simple” ones!—I have no idea how), and x 4 is a small fortune.
We’re big on experiences, but wow, I feel like I need another job for this.
I totally feel this. Yes, $1000 concert tickets might be seen as a “nice” problem to have. But high costs have trickled down to more mundane experiences as well — my family of four went to a town fair and it would have cost us $80-$100 to have lunch. We left and had lunch at home. I have never taken my kids to an amusement park or even on a carnival ride. I read that the Big E was down in attendance this year, and every comment was about the high cost of admission/food/rides driving people away. I feel like these are things that shouldn’t be out of reach. 😑
I think pricing people out of collective experiences is far more corrosive to humanity than people give it credit for. People are starved for them -- it's one of the deep psychic wounds of the pandemic. Kurt Cobain said live music is one of the most spiritual experiences you can share with another person, and he was not wrong. You are right that all of this is not normal -- bless Taylor Swift's billionaire heart -- and I hope you can make it work somehow.
"Nothing is built to experience anymore. Everything is built to consume" - and this is why we do Birthdays at home. Make a home made cake that isn't perfect. etc. I'm not talking about kids, which brings a whole other level of pressure...but I make the bar lower as to what constitutes a good time. It can just be laughs, a fun time out biking, going to a local wolf sanctuary, or a farm rescue place to visit. I refuse the consume-only culture, and am choosing "connection culture." instead. Better on the wallet, but also better in my own heart.
Well said.
The best memories I’ve made with my kids didn’t cost a thing—they just required my full attention.
In my experience, money finances the experience. But presence makes it matter.
I read the NYT article yesterday about the whole BNPL trap, which mentioned that two-thirds of Coachella tickets are purchased that way. There’s a Forbes article about the trend that says:
“About 60% of general admission ticket buyers for the festival used buy now, pay later (BNPL) plans to secure their passes. Many also leaned on these plans for lodging and merchandise. These costs can run in excess of $1,000 per weekend. This reliance on BNPL, where payments are spread over months, raises questions. This may be a symptom of consumers lacking the cash to fund their desires. Also, it appears that many Americans are maxing out their finances.”
Obvi, but ouch. I hope whatever plan you settle on with your daughter is fabulous and brings you all joy. I was going to suggest an NYC spa day together, but that probably lands you right back at $1,000 once you add in lunch and transportation.
I love music and see a lot of $40 shows at small venues in Toronto. There are also Ticketmaster sales in May for $30 shows. I saw James Taylor, Weird Al and the Who for $30 this year. Not my top picks, but still fun shows (I will also spend on big shows, 100%). You live near NYC and you are surrounded by extreme wealth and you are going to compete with that wealth for limited ticket events. I face the same problem to a lesser extent in Toronto. Ben Carlson talked about seeing so many young people at expensive concerts, but he rationalized this by saying that the minimum wage has gone up significantly since 2020 and kids can now afford a bigger ticket concert as those are their only large expenses as they probably live at home with their parents.
My kids are Swifties and “Weird Al” devotees. They come by it honestly and when either are nearby, it’s not exactly time for a second mortgage, but last time, I was able to make it happen with BNPL.
Nothing like the periodic reminder that I’m still paying for the experiences of the last year, in addition to the travel and associated costs of just getting there and back home.
At least we have the home to return to, right?
I saw the title of this post, and immediately sent it to my husband to read.
We just paid $1200 for winter basketball league for our three boys at our local place that the whole town plays at. They raise the prices every two weeks until they are sold out. It’s a racket, but the only activity my kids do during winter. We also spent $1200 on Ed Sheeran concert tickets for our whole family for next summer (as our kids’ first concert a Christmas gift). I specifically told me kids to no birthday parties this year because each tends to run $1000 (even “simple” ones!—I have no idea how), and x 4 is a small fortune.
We’re big on experiences, but wow, I feel like I need another job for this.
I totally feel this. Yes, $1000 concert tickets might be seen as a “nice” problem to have. But high costs have trickled down to more mundane experiences as well — my family of four went to a town fair and it would have cost us $80-$100 to have lunch. We left and had lunch at home. I have never taken my kids to an amusement park or even on a carnival ride. I read that the Big E was down in attendance this year, and every comment was about the high cost of admission/food/rides driving people away. I feel like these are things that shouldn’t be out of reach. 😑
I think pricing people out of collective experiences is far more corrosive to humanity than people give it credit for. People are starved for them -- it's one of the deep psychic wounds of the pandemic. Kurt Cobain said live music is one of the most spiritual experiences you can share with another person, and he was not wrong. You are right that all of this is not normal -- bless Taylor Swift's billionaire heart -- and I hope you can make it work somehow.